Succexy

I used to not believe people when they said that turning 19 was pretty boring and depressing, but now I might start to believe it.

About a month ago I was excited to host my 3rd annual softball game for my birthday. Monica and I texted each other about it, I told her about my past two birthdays and how fun they were. She got really excited, which made me more excited. However, now I'm starting to realize that I'm completely broke—and so is everyone else. I wouldn't want to make it a potluck, I don't want to scavenge for softball equipment, and not too many people are around this summer. Maybe they are around, but many are just preoccupied with other things it seems.

I'm sad to not have a shindig and get to see all the people I love, but hopefully I'll see them when school starts back up and at random points in the summer.

I'm thinking of asking my mom to buy me a gym membership for a month for my birthday. It'd only be like 30 bucks because it's so late into summer for me. That's reasonable. But I've also been wanting a digital camera forever...and I want to go to Seattle...and I really need money too. UGH. Why can't I just be fucking rich like Bill Gates or something. Ryeet? I wonder if people like him even look forward to birthdays when there's really not much they needs material-wise.

Okay so maybe I'll ask my mom to pay for a flight to Seattle. But then I'll have to also see if my cousins or relatives would be willing to host me. Maybe I'll just go for a really long drive on the 12th of July. That's a sort of escape I suppose.