Last summer I was afraid I wouldn't have a place to stay, and this year, I fear the same thing. While I know my mom or grandparents would be glad to have me with them for those three months, I know I would be miserable. I'm not going to be happy at all. My grandmother literally drives me insane and I quickly become irritable around her. It shouldn't be like that. If I find a small place to rent or split with someone, I'm positive I'll have better peace of mind. Visits with my grandparents will be more enjoyable, and seeing my brothers will brighten me more than anything else.
I want serenity.
1.3.10
12.1.10
In Depth
I don't know how much of a chance I'll get to do this for the rest of the semester, so I thought I should take advantage of my free time on this late night and do some writing. It's not too deep or analytical, but I really want to remember this day. When I have bad days, I want to think happy thoughts. I love reading through old posts when I'm feeling lousy. They either make me feel lousier or cheer me up. I hope this one will cheer me up.
Don't you love things like that? You're sitting in the middle of a boring lecture, you're stuck doing something you don't want to be doing, or you're miserable for no reason... but then you think back to a happier time, or even a happier moment. A sudden smile develops on your face. You're not so miserable, at least for a moment.
I digress.
Today was the first day of my spring semester of sophomore year at USC. The vibe on campus is weird now that we know we're losing one of the greatest coaches to ever work for the school. But we must Fight On.
My first class began at 9am. It was my print reporting class. Our teacher is really sweet and I'm looking forward to having her push my writing to the next level. We found out that our class of about 15 people would be covering the city of Inglewood. INGLE-WOOOOOD! The place where dreams and Tyra Banks' are made. My classmates and I have to cover the MLK parade being held on Saturday. I'm so nervous and excited. It'll be my first actual field reporting. I hope I don't mess it up. I haven't written in such a long time! By Friday I also need to write a 3rd-person profile about myself! It's ironic because I had a conversation the other night with my BFF about not wanting to ever show up in an article. I always want to be on the outside looking in. People shouldn't practice journalism if they're going to be vain.
A lady who works with the news radio station on campus also came in to talk to us during class. It really sparked my interest in getting into radio news. She described it as a happy medium between print and broadcast journalism... and I think she's right. I'd have to commit four hours to working with the station every week. It would be totally worth it, I just don't know how it would fit into my schedule if I also manage to get a job on campus. Plus, I've already committed four hours to copy editing for the Daily Trojan. So much to do, so little time! Ugh.
After class I had lunch at Subway with my friend Tatjana (pronounced Tuh-shawna). She's so cute. She's currently obsessed with the blond highlight she just added to her hair last week. It's one of those that you can't really see unless her hair is up in a ponytail. Omg I had the Italian sub and it was so good. Anyway, we hung out in my apartment for a while and I played with her iPhone. It's so pretty. I need a smart phone in my life. I would tweet non-stop. I would have to create a separate twitter in order to not annoy my followers. It would just be a twitter account for me to read and reflect on. =) I digress.
After lunch I went to the gym for a little while, took a shower, and got all dressed up for a birthday dinner I'd be attending later. I wore the dress from Albert's 21st birthday party. I think it's cute and classy. Oh, and I almost forgot this tidbit! I had a package to pick up from the front desk at my apartment complex, so I took care of that when I came back from the gym. But while I was waiting for the girl to get my package from the back, I saw an iPhone sitting on the counter near me. And no one else was around.
I picked up the iPhone.
I contemplated keeping it.
I quickly ran through the consequences in my mind.
I realized that iPhones don't have sim cards (at least I think they don't).
The girl finally came out with a huge box for me.
"Someone left their iPhone here..." I said. Sigh. Those moments when I held that iPhone were so beautiful. But I knew I'd never forgive myself for keeping an iPhone that someone had probably agonized over losing.
Don't judge me for contemplating keeping it! I'm human. Many of us would have done the same.
And it turns out that the package I picked up was a Christmas present from my cousin in Washington. It had been sitting at the front desk for a month! Late presents are always the most pleasant surprises, though. It was a live DVD and CD of the Killers performing at The Royal Albert Hall. =)
Around 4:15 I headed over to the band office in order to tidy the silk closet up. It's so hard to organize the closet when there are so many flags! Most of the flags don't get used, but the equipment managers don't seem to want to throw them away. I did my best to organize it and create some sort of order. At 5pm we had a section leader meeting with the band director, the great Dr. Bartner. Yup, he's crazy. I like listening to his ramblings though, he flusters a lot and mixes up the funniest words. I'm interested to see what he'll do now that Pete Carroll is leaving. He always said that he'd retire once Pete was gone. Could it be true...?
Next, at 7pm, was my sailing class! I'm taking the course with Chrissy and Gabby, which means I will never get anything done. Tonight I couldn't stop laughing at Chrissy's drawing of a boat. It looked like a cereal bowl floating in a sink. Hahaha. I can tell that it will be tough to sit through a three-hour lecture every Monday. But it's going to be so worth it when we sail to Catalina in a couple of months! I really can't wait.
After class, Chrissy, Gabby and I had planned on going to the birthday dinner I mentioned earlier, but the dinner was over by the time our class ended. So, there we were, three chicas, all dressed up for a dinner party, without dinner party to attend. We ended up going to Wendy's. And it was delicious.
I finally got home around 10:30. I was in such a good mood! These types of days are so fulfilling. You're really busy, but you're happy with what you're doing. I had a fun conversation with Becky, and we listened to funky music like we always do.
Life is good right now.
Don't you love things like that? You're sitting in the middle of a boring lecture, you're stuck doing something you don't want to be doing, or you're miserable for no reason... but then you think back to a happier time, or even a happier moment. A sudden smile develops on your face. You're not so miserable, at least for a moment.
I digress.
Today was the first day of my spring semester of sophomore year at USC. The vibe on campus is weird now that we know we're losing one of the greatest coaches to ever work for the school. But we must Fight On.
My first class began at 9am. It was my print reporting class. Our teacher is really sweet and I'm looking forward to having her push my writing to the next level. We found out that our class of about 15 people would be covering the city of Inglewood. INGLE-WOOOOOD! The place where dreams and Tyra Banks' are made. My classmates and I have to cover the MLK parade being held on Saturday. I'm so nervous and excited. It'll be my first actual field reporting. I hope I don't mess it up. I haven't written in such a long time! By Friday I also need to write a 3rd-person profile about myself! It's ironic because I had a conversation the other night with my BFF about not wanting to ever show up in an article. I always want to be on the outside looking in. People shouldn't practice journalism if they're going to be vain.
A lady who works with the news radio station on campus also came in to talk to us during class. It really sparked my interest in getting into radio news. She described it as a happy medium between print and broadcast journalism... and I think she's right. I'd have to commit four hours to working with the station every week. It would be totally worth it, I just don't know how it would fit into my schedule if I also manage to get a job on campus. Plus, I've already committed four hours to copy editing for the Daily Trojan. So much to do, so little time! Ugh.
After class I had lunch at Subway with my friend Tatjana (pronounced Tuh-shawna). She's so cute. She's currently obsessed with the blond highlight she just added to her hair last week. It's one of those that you can't really see unless her hair is up in a ponytail. Omg I had the Italian sub and it was so good. Anyway, we hung out in my apartment for a while and I played with her iPhone. It's so pretty. I need a smart phone in my life. I would tweet non-stop. I would have to create a separate twitter in order to not annoy my followers. It would just be a twitter account for me to read and reflect on. =) I digress.
After lunch I went to the gym for a little while, took a shower, and got all dressed up for a birthday dinner I'd be attending later. I wore the dress from Albert's 21st birthday party. I think it's cute and classy. Oh, and I almost forgot this tidbit! I had a package to pick up from the front desk at my apartment complex, so I took care of that when I came back from the gym. But while I was waiting for the girl to get my package from the back, I saw an iPhone sitting on the counter near me. And no one else was around.
I picked up the iPhone.
I contemplated keeping it.
I quickly ran through the consequences in my mind.
I realized that iPhones don't have sim cards (at least I think they don't).
The girl finally came out with a huge box for me.
"Someone left their iPhone here..." I said. Sigh. Those moments when I held that iPhone were so beautiful. But I knew I'd never forgive myself for keeping an iPhone that someone had probably agonized over losing.
Don't judge me for contemplating keeping it! I'm human. Many of us would have done the same.
And it turns out that the package I picked up was a Christmas present from my cousin in Washington. It had been sitting at the front desk for a month! Late presents are always the most pleasant surprises, though. It was a live DVD and CD of the Killers performing at The Royal Albert Hall. =)
Around 4:15 I headed over to the band office in order to tidy the silk closet up. It's so hard to organize the closet when there are so many flags! Most of the flags don't get used, but the equipment managers don't seem to want to throw them away. I did my best to organize it and create some sort of order. At 5pm we had a section leader meeting with the band director, the great Dr. Bartner. Yup, he's crazy. I like listening to his ramblings though, he flusters a lot and mixes up the funniest words. I'm interested to see what he'll do now that Pete Carroll is leaving. He always said that he'd retire once Pete was gone. Could it be true...?
Next, at 7pm, was my sailing class! I'm taking the course with Chrissy and Gabby, which means I will never get anything done. Tonight I couldn't stop laughing at Chrissy's drawing of a boat. It looked like a cereal bowl floating in a sink. Hahaha. I can tell that it will be tough to sit through a three-hour lecture every Monday. But it's going to be so worth it when we sail to Catalina in a couple of months! I really can't wait.
After class, Chrissy, Gabby and I had planned on going to the birthday dinner I mentioned earlier, but the dinner was over by the time our class ended. So, there we were, three chicas, all dressed up for a dinner party, without dinner party to attend. We ended up going to Wendy's. And it was delicious.
I finally got home around 10:30. I was in such a good mood! These types of days are so fulfilling. You're really busy, but you're happy with what you're doing. I had a fun conversation with Becky, and we listened to funky music like we always do.
Life is good right now.
25.12.09
This Christmas I feel really empty. All the days leading up to it have been so much fun. I've hung out with everyone I planned on seeing over break, though I'm definitely craving more time with these friends. But Christmas is just so blah. My Grandma can't cook the amazing meals she used to, and my mom ALWAYS works on Christmas Day. Double-time pay. At least I got to spend Christmas Eve with her. We were in the kitchen nearly all day, which is a rarity with her now. It's nice to feel like I have a mom for once. When it's just her and I, she takes time to ask about me, school, life. When my stepdad is around though, I keep my guard up. I feel like he judges every aspect of my life, and he has no right to! Yeah, so what, I like to stay out late. He should have realized by now that I can take care of myself. And if I need help, I'll call my mom. Not him.
Anyway.
Christmas.
What the eff.
My brothers aren't at the age where they can fully understand or appreciate holidays. They see presents and they just attack. And my paternal family never visits for the holidays, so my grandparents and dad just spend it at home. I wish we had some sort of holiday tradition.
I just wanna fast forward 5-10 years, when I'll hopefully have a life. I want a big group of people to crowd around a dinner table. I want camaraderie. While I've said that I don't want kids, maybe I'll have a change of heart. I feel like that's the only way to create stability and tradition. Being able to love someone enough and raise them in a stable environment is how I want to create a sense of home in my life. Right now I don't have a home. I'm unhappy wherever I go, unless I'm with my friends. I love being around my brothers, but I don't like having to act like their mother. And my grandparents are great, but they're insane. My grandma's a control freak and my grandpa has the world's shortest temper. And my dad is on another downward spiral. I'm the only person he has, but I'm a lousy person for him to have. I don't know how to help, and when I try something out, I just get pissed off and walk out.
Anyway.
Christmas.
What the eff.
My brothers aren't at the age where they can fully understand or appreciate holidays. They see presents and they just attack. And my paternal family never visits for the holidays, so my grandparents and dad just spend it at home. I wish we had some sort of holiday tradition.
I just wanna fast forward 5-10 years, when I'll hopefully have a life. I want a big group of people to crowd around a dinner table. I want camaraderie. While I've said that I don't want kids, maybe I'll have a change of heart. I feel like that's the only way to create stability and tradition. Being able to love someone enough and raise them in a stable environment is how I want to create a sense of home in my life. Right now I don't have a home. I'm unhappy wherever I go, unless I'm with my friends. I love being around my brothers, but I don't like having to act like their mother. And my grandparents are great, but they're insane. My grandma's a control freak and my grandpa has the world's shortest temper. And my dad is on another downward spiral. I'm the only person he has, but I'm a lousy person for him to have. I don't know how to help, and when I try something out, I just get pissed off and walk out.
13.12.09
Dancing in the dark
I let things get to me, and I know I absolutely shouldn't. But they do. Little things get to me. They infiltrate my mind and I start jumping to lengthy conclusions. I guess it's paranoia, or OCD. Whatever it is, I don't think I'll be able to change it.
8.12.09
Really?
When in doubt... use a drone?
The title above links to an article in the Orange County Register about our latest attempt to quell illegal immigration. It's always nice knowing how money is being wasted, isn't it?
The title above links to an article in the Orange County Register about our latest attempt to quell illegal immigration. It's always nice knowing how money is being wasted, isn't it?
3.12.09
Stolen
From Krystal's tumbling =)
10 things you want for Christmas:
1. Meaningful hugz
2. An iPod
3. clothes
4. straightener
5. USC anything
6. athletic shoes
7. grocery money
8. nail stuff!
9 musicians/bands you love (no order):
1. jimmy eat world
2. coldplay
3. sublime
4. julieta venegas
5. backstreet boys
6. janet jackson
7. muse
8. the beatles
9. david bowie
8 things you do everyday (no order):
1. facebook
2. tweet
3. listen to my old, veteran iPod
4. talk to friends
5. comb my hair
6. stare at pictures
7. sleep
8. read perezhilton......
7 things you enjoy:
1. laughing
2. being a Trojan
3. having my brothers
4. my iPod
5. hanging out with my favorite people
6. social networking
7. people-watching
6 things that will always win your heart:
1. a sense of humor
2. songs that speak to what i'm going through
3. my brothers' laughter
4. generosity
5. kindheartedness
6. hugs, even though i seem like i don't like them
5 favorites:
1. Movie: The Wedding Singer
2. Song: Chase This Light
3. Book: Postsecret
4. Band: Jimmy Eat World
5. Season: summer
4 smells you enjoy:
1. Winter-type baking scents
2. Barbecue (asada)
3. Pantene shampoo
4. Toast
3 places you want to go:
1. Washington state
2. Big Bear/Lake Arrowhead
3. Hawaii
2 holidays you love:
1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving
1 person you’d marry on the spot:
1. Jimmy Stewart 70 years ago... haha
10 things you want for Christmas:
1. Meaningful hugz
2. An iPod
3. clothes
4. straightener
5. USC anything
6. athletic shoes
7. grocery money
8. nail stuff!
9 musicians/bands you love (no order):
1. jimmy eat world
2. coldplay
3. sublime
4. julieta venegas
5. backstreet boys
6. janet jackson
7. muse
8. the beatles
9. david bowie
8 things you do everyday (no order):
1. facebook
2. tweet
3. listen to my old, veteran iPod
4. talk to friends
5. comb my hair
6. stare at pictures
7. sleep
8. read perezhilton......
7 things you enjoy:
1. laughing
2. being a Trojan
3. having my brothers
4. my iPod
5. hanging out with my favorite people
6. social networking
7. people-watching
6 things that will always win your heart:
1. a sense of humor
2. songs that speak to what i'm going through
3. my brothers' laughter
4. generosity
5. kindheartedness
6. hugs, even though i seem like i don't like them
5 favorites:
1. Movie: The Wedding Singer
2. Song: Chase This Light
3. Book: Postsecret
4. Band: Jimmy Eat World
5. Season: summer
4 smells you enjoy:
1. Winter-type baking scents
2. Barbecue (asada)
3. Pantene shampoo
4. Toast
3 places you want to go:
1. Washington state
2. Big Bear/Lake Arrowhead
3. Hawaii
2 holidays you love:
1. Christmas
2. Thanksgiving
1 person you’d marry on the spot:
1. Jimmy Stewart 70 years ago... haha
2.12.09
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
